Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  21

  Help/Advice on Birthday Present

  by Phizzy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a very xjw type problem, i am invited to my cousin's 70th birthday party, and really don't know what to buy him.. i only met him a couple of months ago, as my jw parents never encouraged the non-jw side of the family, so i don't know much about him, except that he is retired and his hobby is sailing his boat.. i don't have contact details for his kids etc to ask them for ideas, so could you come up with something please ?

  not too extravagant, i am a poor pensioner !

  but, it is his 70th.. thanks in advance for any tips !.

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  Sail Away

  Are there any marine supply stores near you? They often have a small gift area. Maybe one of those mugs that keeps liquids hot or cold for 24 hours? They are always handy. Someone at the store may have another suggestion. Sailors often like practical gifts. My husband has a fetish for flashlights. Just make sure it has both white and red lenses. Red helps with night vision. Have fun!
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  29

  Have you ever come across someone on this site or other exjw site that you knew?

  by karter in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  2 for me 1 from my old congro in the 80's and another that was in the same circle of friends.. karter..

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  Sail Away

  No, not directly, but I have met up with several ex-JWs who knew people in common, or when we have surmised that we are from the same area. I'm not in hiding, so there are clues in my posts. Also, there is a chance my husband knows Pete Zahut. It seems they were at Bethel at the same time. We are out of country visiting family and meeting our new grandson now, so I will send a PM when we return.

  I have tried to contact ex-JWs/faders in my area, but they don't respond. I guess they just want to move on. I get that.

  Diane
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  116

  What is behind your choice of forum user name?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.

  there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.

  i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.

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  Sail Away

  At one point in my waking up process, my husband and I chartered a sailboat in the waters around Emerald Island in Florida for our anniversary. I took the helm for the entire week. One particularly gorgeous day on a challenging reach with winds gusting to 30 knots, I had the thought-- 'I wonder what life would be like if I never had to wear heels, nylons or dresses ever again-- just barefoot, in the sun, wearing shorts, no meetings, no Bible, no service. . .?' That was in late May. I sailed away on July 3 for good.

  Never underestimate the power of time away from the Borg.
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  16

  Fatherless Boys

  by JW_Rogue in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the wt teaches that "fatherless boys" need special care and attention in the congregation.

  however, as brought out at the rc their definition of "fatherless boys" includes boys that have actual fathers who maybe very well qualified to teach and raise their sons.

  according to wt, if either of your parents aren't jws then you are a "fatherless boy.

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  Sail Away

  SAIL AWAY:

  I know you want to "thank" this guy for letting your son see the light and free himself, but this person deserves to be put in his place for this emotional abuse. Witnesses think they can say anything they want and you are just supposed to "take it" especially if you are young. They think people are supposed to be whipping boys or sounding boards. Just what do they see themselves as?? --LongHairGal

  Thanks for your perspective. I'll think it over. I didn't want to return his abusive speech in kind. I don't like allowing another's actions to shape mine, so maybe a carefully worded statement regarding his abuse is, in fact, warranted.

  Oh, and calling him out on lying to my face is back on the table!

  Diane
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  23

  How Do You Get Most of Your News?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i read that many people get their news from facebook.

  i look online mostly at fox news and the drudge report.

  very seldom do i look at cnn.😎.

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  Sail Away

  I haven't watched network news since the Sandy Hook shootings in my state. Word gets around fast. If something big is brewing, I check The Washington Post (at least it's intelligently written) and Aljazerra (English). I have both apps on my phone.
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  21

  Convention Horror Video for J.W.'s Young Children

  by The Searcher in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in part 3 of remember the wife of lot, prepubescent j.w.

  kids are going to be shown something which demonstrates that the org condones watching disturbing horror content.

  the "direction" the wtbts is taking is breathtaking.

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  Sail Away

  I can't even watch. Setting up another generation of JW children up for PTSD.
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  20

  When was the first time you said, "thank you for your service" to someone?

  by Coded Logic in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  mine was to some random guy in uniform i saw on the street about two years ago.

  even as a jw i knew that we had a lot of freedoms here in the us that were hard earned.

  it felt really good to finally be able to say in person to someone when i i did..

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  Sail Away

  The first time I thanked a vet for his service and reached to shake his hand he teared up. I offered a hug, and he accepted it. It was a beautiful moment I will always treasure.
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  14

  How Long Out Before They leave You Alone

  by tepidpoultry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  many years ago i met an older man in the ministry who told me he was a baptized jw years ago, when i met him he was an alchoholic and had girlfriends, i told the elders, two came by and they told me to treat him as a regular worldly guy, my question is (i know this is a fuzzy area) about how much time needs to go by before someone (me for instance) would be looked upon as a non jw worldly person?.

  :0).

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  Sail Away

  For me it was 5 months of daily attempts at contact-- email, voicemail, visits, drive bys, notes in the door, text messages, letters, notes and crayon drawings from children. I ignored every. single. one. And then dead silence until the next Memorial when I received an invitation in the door. I was home. They didn't even knock.

  A couple of years later I freaked out when a two-elder hit squad showed up on my door step with the new 'silver sword'. I have PTSD. Enough already. I sent a letter of resignation by way of my lawyer. I like boundaries. I am happy to exchange pleasantries should we cross paths in town, but no random visits in any official capacity. I threatened to sue them if they announced my name from the platform. Apparently they took me at my word. Still no public shunning.
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  16

  Fatherless Boys

  by JW_Rogue in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the wt teaches that "fatherless boys" need special care and attention in the congregation.

  however, as brought out at the rc their definition of "fatherless boys" includes boys that have actual fathers who maybe very well qualified to teach and raise their sons.

  according to wt, if either of your parents aren't jws then you are a "fatherless boy.

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  Sail Away

  I often wondered what I might say to the elder that took on my son as his "fatherless boy" project. For years I had a few choice words for him. Now, should we cross paths, I will thank him for being the man who set my son free.

  You see, my son was hurt, lonely and afraid about a year after he was DF'd. He thought it best to return to the fold. This arrogant a**h***e ripped my son up one side and down the other for bringing shame upon him personally (not god or the congregation). He used hurtful and vile words. Now my son will never return.

  Thank you, Eric. I hope you find freedom one day.
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  16

  JW Grandparent Drama

  by What Now? in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my mom and sisters have not had any contact with my family for the past year and a half.. we even recently announced a new pregnancy and none of them acknowledged it or called to say congratulations or anything.. this past week my non-witness grandfather passed away and i had thought that for the sake of his death and funeral, it being "necessary family business" that they would at least be civil in front of our other family.

  all of them still ignored me, my sisters didn't even speak to my children at all - to be honest i don't think my kids even knew who they were.

  for the sake of my grandmother i made a small attempt at the end of the day to say goodbye to my mother and she kind of just brushed past me and said goodbye without really looking at me.. anyways my grandmother told me later that my mom spoke to her and said "i love my daughter and i love my grandchildren and i'm so upset that she won't allow me to see them".

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  Sail Away

  I feel like anyone that wants to be in my children's life needs to at least be civil with me at the very least. I also don't want my children to see this and think it's a normal way for a parent child relationship to be.

  Is this unreasonable?

  Reasonable, rational and sane, What Now?

  As ToesUp said, "Respect is earned."